Bad Guy / Good Guy

I have this tendency to assess someone's history or situation a person is in before judging him. That being said, it is perfectly normal when there is a clash of ideas (I refuse to call it a quarrel unless both parties are set to cut off ties with each other) and I begin to analyse why does the problem exist in the first place?

99.9999% of the time, I end up with the same conclusion: there is a clash of personality types.
FYI, your personality includes the way you think and problem-solving skills too. 

You see, the 'quarrel' would not have existed if not for the different ways both parties perceive it to be. A wife may see the lack of children in the house as a more peaceful environment, while the husband may think of it as overwhelming loneliness. In this situation, it is not entirely right to say that the former is a pessimist, while the latter is an optimist, just because you love kids.

There is a reason why like-minded people herd together and form clubs, societies and even constitutions. Finding your 'home' from another home where you get accepted for your beliefs and/or interests is one thing, not leaving it, is another. There is a danger zone in the comfort zone itself, where it is almost like a blackhole - it takes a shit ton of effort to leave after entering it. You get blinded to the diversity in society and forget that other 'weird' people exist, even though you see them on the streets all the time.

THE REAL PROBLEM HERE IS, people don't always put into consideration a person's situation or history before assuming that he/she is at fault. There's really no point in arguing with them because 1) you either get accused for causing the problem without any chance of justifying yourself, 2) you get indirectly accused for causing the problem, because the other party just gives up totally or doesn't even try understanding what you perceive, and ends up not solving the problem altogether.

Either way, you are deemed as the bad guy just because you don't see things the same way as others / you don't counter problems the same way as others / you don't approach matters or people the same way as others.

I'm tired.

xx